Although every team plays to win amateur football
should be, and is, about having a laugh. And down the years there has been
plenty to chuckle over...
...like the time when the wife of midfielder Simon Holmes
ran onto the field with his dinner from the night before because he hadn't
been home, and threw it at him.
True Blue Jamies face didnt
In 1995 Jamie Philp raised a smile when he was refused
entry at Selhurst Park to watch his favourites Manchester City play Wimbledon
because he was wearing a rubber John Major mask. Stewards claimed he represented
a danger. Not nearly as big a danger as Tony Blair, as it turned out.
Jamie went away only to return later with the mask hidden under his jumper
and was admitted. He shouldn't have bothered. City lost 0-3.
Eyebrows were raised - and singed - in the mid nineties
when Mellor signed a £3000 sponsorship deal with a heating firm called
Flamerite. (PIC 1) To gain publicity
for the three-year agreement chairman George Dearsley organised for a
team photograph to be taken with fire eater Kevin Hawley blowing a plume
of flame above the squad and Flamerite's managing director Peter Froggatt.
Unfortunately, a change of wind direction at the last moment saw the flame
shoot too close to the players' faces and many complained of scorched
flesh! But the dramatic picture made the Manchester Evening News and a
number of weekly papers. The pre-match warm-up before a game against Old
Ashtonians didn't do the side much good. We lost 0-7!
boxing shocks the sixth form
A fundraising venture in October 1990 landed the club
on the front page of the Stockport Express and page 5 of The Daily Star.
(PIC 2) The club planned to stage a "Foxy
Boxing" night with scantily clad girls in the ring. The venue was the
hall of the Ridge sixth form college. Due to a mix up the club's committee
thought the college knew all about the venture but when officials were
made aware at the last minute they decided the event was not appropriate.
Frantic phone calls saw the knock-out entertainment switched to Marple
tops the bill, the bar bill that is...
Fundraising, of course, is a constant struggle for
amateur clubs. For 10 years Mellor ran successful sportsmen's dinners.
But the income was dented one year when the committee were staggered to
discover after the event was over that the guest speaker, ex Manchester
United hero Norman Whiteside (PIC 3) had
left a £40 drinks bill for us to pay! Lucky we hadn't hired George Best!
turns out for the 'other team'
A fancy dress karaoke night in 1993 saw some interesting
costumes (PIC 4) including teak-tough tiger
tackler John Blow dressed as a woman. The real thing was in evidence in
2000 when Salford comic Scully brought two exotic dancers along to entertain
the club at a gentlemen's evening (PIC 5).